The "smartest" room in the house
Since moving into our new (to us) home, we've had issues with the appliances that came with the house, something we're slowly addressing. We were fortunate to find a simpler washing machine so we could finally off-load the beastly massive and modern Maytag that I'm convinced never properly cleaned the clothes.
Our new (to us) washer is a marvel of simplicity and efficiency. It works like a champ and takes one-third the time to clean a load than the old machine.
In tracing water leaks under the house during our recent plumbing woes, Don removed the unused dishwasher, which spent at least the last two years quietly leaking (I prefer to wash dishes by hand anyway), so that's another appliance we no longer have to worry about.
We've been looking to replace the propane range/oven, since the durn thing has an electronic ignition, which means the oven can't be used during power outages. Did you know they don't make ovens with pilot lights any longer? That's what we had in our old home and loved it. We've been searching for a range with a pilot light, to no avail. The best we can find is a very pricey battery-ignition range. We may not have an option except to invest in one of these.
We're also looking to replace the fancy refrigerator with a plainer model. Not only did this refrigerator leak (because of its fancy ice/water feature), but frankly it has a very poor inside layout, without the option to rearrange the shelves for more efficiency. Grrr. Who designs these things?
Anyway, this litany of appliance woes underscores our determination to KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid) our kitchen. Anything that requires complicated hookups – or worse, monitors everything we do – is a no-no in our book. The idea of a "smart" kitchen gives me the shudders.
This is all a lead-up to an article I just saw on the subject of "smart" kitchens. Are you ready for this?
Based on the "kitchen of the future" from the 2023 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, it seems the newest generation of appliances are not only part of the Internet of Things, but are "smarter" than ever.
From the article:
"Samsung is bringing us the ability to peek-a-boo at any temperature every time you bake. They are debuting their new Bespoke Lineup kitchen appliances, including this smart oven with a camera inside, so you no longer have to open the door and let out the heat to check how the food is looking as it cooks.
The AI Oven includes a pro cooking system that uses a camera inside of it to tell when your food is burning or ready to be taken out. You can also integrate your oven with the Samsung SmartThings Cooking app to get recipes recommended based on your diet goals or the ingredients you have at home, making cooking even more of a breeze."
I'm sure this appeals to some people, but not me. Essentially it means your oven is hackable. Can you imagine some guy across the planet, sitting in a darkened room in front of his computer and informing me my casserole will be held hostage unless I fork over my bank account?
They're also putting out a "smart" mixer: "The mixer has a built-in smart scale so you can get the precise weight of ingredients to ensure your measurements are exact. The Auto Sense technology can not only tell when your measurements are precise – it can also tell exactly how long to mix the ingredients."
I have two mixers. One looks like this:
And the other looks like this:
But wait, there's more! How about a mood fridge? "LG's MoodUP color-changing fridge can boldly jump out or fade into the background. LG wants to not only change your kitchen's aesthetic, but they are also hoping to change your mood at the same time. The fridge has 4 panels you can select the colors for or choose a theme like 'season' or 'healing.'"
If having a colorful fridge is not your style, "you can opt for the Lux Grey/Lux White combo instead and just use the fridge for its features, like the built-in Bluetooth speaker or voice recognition. The colors are a way more fun option, though, if you want them to change along with the beat of the music playing from your fridge through the Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connections.
The fridge's lights also allow fun features like blinking when someone enters the kitchen or alerting you with flashing lights if the fridge door was left open accidentally. The MoodUP name pays homage to the soothing colors you can choose to change the ambiance of your kitchen to a more relaxing vibe. And speaking of vibe, the fridge comes with LG's craft ice maker, so you can cool down your cocktail with a perfectly round, large ice cube."
Maybe it's just me, but all I can think of (besides how unnecessary all this is) is how much more likely these kinds of appliances will break down. Then what? How much will it cost to get them repaired?
It can get worse. Last year, a reader commented: "A friend of mine is separating from an abusive husband. We've had a bit of a rush to disconnect various devices from the internet. For a time he seemed able to surveil his abused wife and kids through the television, or just to turn up the volume remotely. He enjoyed turning on the sprinklers while the wife was mowing the lawn through the IoT sprinkler controller. Had the 'smart oven' not fortuitously decided it needed its entire brain replaced, he could theoretically have turned it on remotely. I'll take the dumb devices any day."
Doesn't this just give you the shudders?
See, this is something that puzzles me. Why do people want this kind of stuff? Are they so helpless or clueless that "smart" technology is superior to human intelligence? I don't get it. I honestly don't get it.
Of course, the ultimate test of a kitchen is how functional it still is during a power outage. That's one of the reasons I loved our old propane range with the pilot light – it worked just fine without power. And a deep-down part of me longs to get an old-fashioned ice box, even as I recognize we would either have to purchase blocks of ice, or go down an entire rabbit hole of building an ice house and freezing our own ice.
It's funny: the "smarter" technology gets, the more I push back against it. As I write this, for example, our wood cookstove is purring along, heating a kettle of water for tea. My kind of stove.
I know I'm a Luddite at heart. Don't get me wrong – technology has its place. I'm using technology to post to this blog, of course. I make my living on a computer. But at what point does technology take over?
After the battle we've had for the past two years with modern appliances, I'm more convinced than ever that low-tech is the way to go. The "smartest" room in the house is one where the cook controls the appliances, not the other way around.
Okay, rant over.