Alex Tha Great – On Childhood Fears That May Never Go Away [Video]

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Alex tha Great, performing at WoWPS 2020 in Dallas, TX

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Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited)

0:02
on childhood fears that may never
0:04
go away when i was younger
0:07
my sisters and i would often play this
0:09
game where they would
0:10
gag me with a scarf bag me up in sheets
0:13
and lock me in a closet
0:15
until my mother got home from work
0:17
except they were only once playing
0:19
it wasn’t much of a game to me that all
0:21
about childhood memories that i feel
0:22
with me
0:23
being terrified and them being
0:25
thoroughly entertained
0:26
isn’t it some of the sickest how
0:27
people can be so overcome with joy over
0:29
your pain now the craziest thing
0:31
is that i don’t know if i’m more
0:32
embarrassed to say i’ve seen a therapist
0:35
to admit just how up i am to even
0:37
need one
0:38
i can’t stand to be in dark places don’t
0:41
like
0:42
feeling like i’m not in control when i
0:44
don’t know what could be lurking out
0:45
from the shadows i’m not afraid of the
0:47
dark
0:48
i’m afraid of what can happen in the
0:51
dark afraid
0:52
of the secrets that linger there of the
0:54
skeletons that will try to bury you with
0:56
them they say the misery loves company
0:57
maybe that’s why i don’t like to be
0:59
alone i sleep with the light on
1:00
in every room of my house but i can’t
1:02
stand mirrors who wants to magnify their
1:04
own flaws i have this fear talking to
1:06
strangers
1:06
don’t get too close to anyone too soon
1:09
and i swear
1:10
i’ll never say candyman in a bathroom
1:12
again
1:13
in the back of my mind i know i know
1:16
he’s got this hidden vendetta against me
1:17
from 20 years ago and i know
1:19
i know this got to sound crazy but
1:21
i’m not crazy just a paranoia got a way
1:23
of creeping up on you i don’t like when
1:24
people stand behind me
1:26
hands in your pockets for too long can
1:27
mean you nothing but harm and i don’t
1:29
know why sometimes i just shake
1:30
tremendously i can’t sit still i get
1:32
nervous jitters i’m always crying
1:34
i think i’m happy it’s more of a
1:36
condemnation than a declaration to me
1:38
but i’m tired y’all
1:40
tired of playing a part of the broken
1:41
girl of the shattered woman
1:44
this movie has already been cast too
1:45
many times the bitter battered angry
1:48
black as a stereotype i am now willing
1:50
to unmask i’m asking questions
1:52
i already know the answers to i’m
1:53
screaming in quiet places i’m banging on
1:56
every locked door i see i just want to
1:58
be validated
1:59
yesterday i cuddled myself in the
2:01
darkest corner of the room singing sweet
2:03
spirituals and crying shamelessly
2:04
through the night
2:05
sometimes i just need to get out of my
2:07
own head not realizing the door has
2:09
already been opened in the end
2:11
a small part of me is still just a
2:12
little girl trapped in the closet
2:15
waiting for the day that my mother
2:17
finally
2:18
gets home
2:25
[Applause]
2:28
you

 

This post was previously published on YouTube.

 

 

 

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The post Alex Tha Great – On Childhood Fears That May Never Go Away [Video] appeared first on The Good Men Project.